This is the love I want from you.

I love you.

I won’t let you go, because I remember what it was like before. Before all the shared looks, and secret smiles. Before I loved you. Because I remember the love when it was new (it’s still new, but our bodies and actions grow old around it). Because, for me, the hugs and nervous embraces weremore; because the innocent brushes of arm against arm, and cheek against cheek are still freshin my mind, and because I think that secretly, our minds walk hand in hand over a street bridge… smiling at the cool October breeze after a satisfyingly filling meal of sushi downtown chinatown, because these memories never escape me and settle always in my mind even when our bodies are entwined in the throes of an unspent worldly passion.

I won’t let you go, because I need you. Because you are the first person I’ve let entirely inside; the first person who knows my faults as clearly as I do, and my virtues as well. Because I rely on you for your support and guidance, and because you show me where my strong points are andencourage me to use them. Because you never fail in telling me when something I am doing iswrong.

I won’t let you go, because I love you. Because the love is overwhelming in it’s depthand width, comforting in its magnitude, and binding in its power. Because it makes me feel minuscule and titanic, and the balance makes me human.

I love you, and I won’t worry about you, or me, or how things will work out. I won’t worry, because I could take a handful of this love and run forever… (how much greater than, is God’s love? How limitless?) I could take any moment of my time with you, and frame it as a a picture on the wall, and it would be worth more than all the words of all the worlds. I won’t worry, because this love is sanctified by God… and we can trudge through the human aspects of that love when we get there. I won’t worry, because there is nothing I can say or do right now that will change theoutcome for better or worse.

Likewise, I won’t leave you. I will do anything in my power to help you to become whoever you want to be. I will support you in everything you do, tell you when you are wrong, help you where you need help, and stand by you where you need only to be strong. I will hold you when you arealone, give you space when you are crowded, and face the world with you. I will love you, and I will whole-heartedly allow you to love me. I won’t let you battle your demons alone. I won’t BEone of your demons. I won’t do anything that might cause you to fall from grace, and if I do, I will doanything in my power to counteract the effects. I will pray for you… and I will love you with all that I am.

Because I love you.

How do I love thee
I shall stay here counting the ways
Your voice
Your eyes
Your loving arms that hold me tight
But I am so far from all of those things I love
Will you not grant me the single wish I wish tonight
To hear your voice
To passionately kiss the lips that speak it
To look into your deep,beautiful eyes and see the world
Then to melt in your strong loving arms that have always held me tight
For those are the things that make me long to be with you
And make me long to love you

Cailea Hiller

Reprinted with permission, you vultures.

learning new languages feels like being in kindy again.

I’ve had so much fun with my Language Exchange partner these past two weeks. I’m so glad I decided to go ahead and do this language partner business. It seems normal to do it when you’re studying overseas and need to learn the lingo there, but in your hometown, it doesn’t cross your mind to seek out international students in your city.

Since I’ve been ‘trying’ to learn Korean, it’s been a huge improvement having a ‘fresh, non-english speaking’ language partner at your side. Especially when you are simply forced to figure out just exactly what your partner has said since you both have trouble communicating to the other person in your respective tongues. Being forced to listen is a miracle. It’s strange how one doesn’t actually ‘hear’ things when one isn’t exactly forced to. The minute you really ‘hear’ is the moment you start to seriously focus on the dialogue, or what’s being said in an absolute way, in a desperate way. That is when I believe, you truly begin to learn. Your psyche and brain begins adapting to the gibberish, rather than relying on translations for everything, every time.

Today I wrote my first introduction in Korean.

It was a fun and humiliating exercise, as I suddenly felt like a Kindergarten Kid.

But at the end of it, even if there were mistakes here and there, I was so pleased and proud of myself. However simple the introduction was, I couldn’t help thinking.. “Wow, I know more than I expected”.

My language partner and I swapped our “introductions” and then corrected and graded each others papers. We were at a Japanese restaurant and just happened to find serving paper on the table and this gave us the idea to take on this writing task. Below is a picture of my paper; Pink is me and Orange is my Lingo Pal.